


When Facing Off Against a Team, Always Slay the Healers First

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Series: 銀色の結界 — Gin'iro no Kekkai [2]
Category: Gintama, 陰陽師 | Onmyoji (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cell Phones, Crack, Gen, Humor, Metafiction, Phone Calls & Telephones, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 11:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10490340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: … And If There Are No Healers on the Opposing Team, Kill the One with the Most Powerful Attack. Oh, And Be Sure toAlwaysHave a Healer onYourTeam.In which Gintoki and Takasugi face off against one another… on Onmyōji.Pure Unadulterated Crack.





	

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I should continue this… It was intended to be a one-shot.

"Hello? Yorozuya Gin-chan speaking." Gintoki said over the fixed phone while his eyes never left his smartphone. He was playing Onmyōji again, and this time he had developed a fondness for facing off _live_ against other players (unless his opponent had the username MrsSakataAyame whom he unfortunately had to fight against _far_ too often, even though the players were supposedly paired _randomly_. Must be some sort of weird fictional universe law at work). The last thing Gintoki wanted was someone's interrupting him for whatever reason (except to remind him of where the heck he left his latest copy of JUMP) and he was just about to ward off the stranger on the phone with a simple _Our service is currently unavailable due to Sakata Gintoki too busy eating chocolate cake and drinking strawberry milk okay thanks bye_ until his expression and voice turned noticeably dark, "Ta… Takasugi? What business do you have with me this time? Didn't I say you have to drink Yakult over my dead body if you want more screen time?"

He was immediately met with a string of annoying giggles that was sure to ring in his ears for many days to come, "I'm not asking you for that, you permed idiot. This is fan fiction, and since I'm popular with the fans, I can get as many appearances as I damn well fucking please. Besides, since you do not _produce_ the manga or anime, you're just a character, can you really grant screen time to your fellow characters? Gintoki, don't make me laugh." annoying giggles again, followed by brief silence — probably that bastard's taking a smoke.

"Not a character, I'm the _main_ character."

"Whatever. Anyways, let me guess, playing Onmyōji aren't you?"

"How the fuck do you know?" Gintoki's red eyes widened.

"And you're facing off against an online player, correct?"

"Well…"

"And that player's _shikigami_ team consists of a girl riding a wall scroll, a one-armed guy whose white hair is _miles_ better than yours and a blue guy; in other words, all ridiculously powerful Super Super Rare ones as opposed to your sorry team of…"

"What sort of evil device do you have right now? How the hell do you know so much?" Gintoki didn't wait to hear the other describe his own team. That alone was enough for him to nearly drop both phones.

"The only 'evil device' I have right now is the phone I'm talking on and the one I'm playing on… against _you_ , that is."

Poor Gintoki had a moment of pure realization and _oh shiiiit_ before responding, "Ha, you must have clearly lost your mind dragging your stupid Lego army into battle with me!"

"Don't act tough with me! By the way, you do realize you only have thirty seconds before the battle automatically starts, right? If the conversation we've just had were really spoken out loud, how many seconds would that take?"

" _Twenty_."

"How… How the fuck did you know?" Gintoki clearly heard a snap coming from the other end — must be Takasugi breaking his pipe in half.

"Simple. The author read our conversation out loud while timing it."

"And adding to that two more lines we just spoke… shit, the battle has started."

Gintoki smirked while desperately wishing he could scream.


End file.
